This ride has to be the most awkward – to top all awkward taxi rides ever in world history. Seriously.
After having pizza dinner with my boyfriend at Upper McKinley, I had decided to take taxi to Ayala instead of jeepney to Guadalupe (I feel safer taking bus from Ayala than Guadalupe). He hailed me taxi and as soon as I was set and car was to leave, the driver initiated a conversation.
“Hindi ka ihahatid ng boyfriend mo?”
“May trabaho pa ho eh.” I said, which was true.
“Naku, malamig pa naman ngayon.” Which by the way not true at all. It was freaking hot because of the rain didn’t continue. AND PLEASE, WHAT WAS HE TALKING ABOUT. I SMIRKED.
“Ayos yung boyfriend mo. Maganda yan. At least hindi ka na magtataka kung lalaki ba talaga.” He was referring to JP’s big belly. “Marami na kasi ngayon macho, malalaki katawan pero bakla naman.” Okay? I wasn’t born yesterday you douche, I hope I said that but I didn’t.
“Mas gusto ko na yung ganong katawan kesa malaki nga; at kapag nagpapalaki ng katawan diba lumiliit na naman yung ano.” I SMIRKED AGAIN.
“Taga call center ka ba?”
“Ah, doon maraming ganon.”
K DOT. I even sent a text message to JP and said, bakla ata ‘tong driver na ‘to.
Randomly, he told me about his passenger the other night who he convinced to tell him that she was no longer virgin. That and his big mouth.
“Sa sobrang daldal ko nga eh, napa-amin ko yung pasahero ko kagabi na hindi na siya virgin.” Why would anyone speak with this person and discuss such things. Was he expecting me to confess the same, and when I say the opposite he would insist that I was lying.
He also managed to share the new menopausal age.
“Alam mo ba kung ilang taon na ang menopausal age? May guess ka ba?”
“40s.” I said, and was freaking confident about this.
“Luma na yon, bago na ngayon. 20 na lang. Ilang taon ka na ba?”
He asked me if I have kids then told him nope,I’m just this fat. Then he was telling me how he likes my figure.
“Mas okay nga yang katawan mo eh. Sarap yakapin. Pero hanggang yakap lang ha, baka pag nasobrahan madurog ako.”
He also talked about how young girls are becoming mothers already.
“Ano bang alam mo ‘te karamihan sa 12 or 13 years old na babae ngayon?”
“Edi mga buntis o may anak na.” I responded during the time I just thought he was giving me a lecture.
He even discussed about his father (at 64) still has a 4 year old daughter. The driver is 29.
“‘Te, biruin mo yon. Tatay ko 64 na pero may 4 years old pang anak.”
And so much more awkward topics he brought up. Freaking traffic in McKinley, that short ride should have ended quickly but nah, traffic!!!! Good thing JP called me and the driver shut for a moment but I don’t want him to feel I was calling out for help because he might do something bad, seriously worst.
“Minsan napapa-amin ko yung mga pasahero ko. Yung iba hindi umiimik, pero tinitignan ko sa mata, nahuhuli ko naman na may spark.”
More smirking. I never responded back to his questions and all after JP called.
HINDI BA NIYA NAISIP NA NOT ALL OF HIS PASSENGERS ARE OPEN TO DISCUSS THESE KIND OF TOPICS. PRIVACY, MAN.
I HAVE FELT VIOLATED. I WAS VERBALLY SEXUALLY ABUSED. I MAY BE OVERREACTING BUT THIS GUY WAS TOO ABUSIVE AND INSENSITIVE.
Papa Jack was on the radio. It seemed like he wanted to become like this jock. He mimicked the dj’s voice… TRYING HARD, DOUCHE.
This happened July 11, 2014 between 10:00 – 10:10 PM 24/7 TAXI SERVICE PLATE NUMBER UVB 503.